Service for Dies Dominii Aprilis MMVIII, part 1

You, hey YOU! You're looking kinda pink over there. Yeah! I see you. Are you pink? Are you pink, motherfucker!? Yeah I'm talking to you, Pinkie! Oh what's that? What's that you're not pink? I dunno, all the way down there you're lookin' kinda pink to me! Lookin' a bit pinkish down there! Maybe you wanna come up here? Come up here on stage and prove to me, prove to BOB ALL MIGHTY that you are not pink.

Do you promise to not be pink?

Promise?

promise me?

That's three times you're promised to me, _____________. Raise your stark fist.

Mutant, do you hereby cast down the SHACKLES of your pink slave name?

Do you hereby swear to refuse your membership in the human community?

Do you declare your allegiance to the SubGenius race and your own household kingdom?

Do you swear to promote devisions and wars among non-mutants?

Will you work always to unmask the conspiracy, to install a strict anarchy or formal chaos?

To extend your Endurance as an Overman by indulging in excesses of Every Kind?

Do you pledge to not actually "work" at any of the Above?


I hereby Name you _______________________. Rise, accept your doctorate in the forbidden science of _______________________. Act honorably in your new position _______________. Take your place by my side, and we shall rule the galaxy as __________ and ____________!

Amen, bitches.