Excerpts From an Exit Interview

What improvements can ________ make as an employer?

In 3 pages of questions this is the first real one that isn't asking me to evaluate my interactions with a ________ employee or software tool but the company as a whole, which I think is an excellent example of the experience I have come away from ________ with: A consistently dehumanizing one. Correspondence that I received directly from the company was consistently either cold and stilted or over-warmed and saccharine. Policies cited by ________ employees I interacted with seemed universally overbearing and short-sighted, even though those employees were always courteous and easy to talk to. Company emails addressing the employee base as a whole seemed pandering and patronizing in tone. In short: ________ and I partnered as agent and agency to make us each some money, and I would have preferred that the company's communications to me and published materials presented to me had reflected that level of professional disconnect. Instead the focus-group feel-good emails and don't-think-follow-orders policies have left me feeling as if the company merely sees me as another piece of equipment that has been used up and is now being discarded.

Would you consider returning to ________ for another contract position in the future?

I have for all intents and purposes already committed to this. And in all honesty my personal interactions with ________ staff have been absolutely the most professional and pleasant of any agency I've contracted with. However do not misunderstand: I will return to ________ because that is how one gets the kind of work I do. If such work wasn't exclusively available though agencies such as ________ I would certainly NEVER use one. The experience of working with agencies has always been a frustration and headache. Just because ________ has been the least unpleasant agency I've worked with doesn't mean that I've felt my interactions with the agency totaled to anything more than an inconvenience at best.

So listen up, Boy...Or pornography starring your mother will be the 2nd worst thing that's happened to you today.

Captain, it appears to be an uncharted nebula...

A Gaythering Storm from Jane Lynch

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